Let me explain. I sort of want you as a friend, well at least I just wish we didn’t have to ignore each other. But the thing is… I’m not happy as long as you’re around. I can’t be happy when you’re around. I think I have had enough of you, I won’t get anything out of you. You are who you are and I can’t seem to like who you are today. Where is that sweet guy I used to love? He suddenly disappeared. Maybe I am different too, now i’ve grown apart from you. I have learned to finally let go even though these last months has felt like a year and I refused to give up on us. It was so perfect, to me anyway. I don’t know about you. I don’t really know you anymore but to me it seems like you have a totally different perspective and we do not want the same things.
I started to feel unhappy that day when you said you wanted a break until I came home from London. Sure, I could have agreed on that but the thing was.. You didn’t want a distance relationship (for three weeks) because it ”made you uncomfortable”, so instead you wanted a break with my permission. You see, the difference there was that we could see other people in the mean time.. I didn’t want that? I just didn’t get it back then.. Now I do. I understand things better now even though I can’t seem to understand why you did some things. But I guess I can’t know everything. We could have had a perfect end of this last year of school, THEN we could go and do whatever we wanted, instead of making this time look a bit like hell for a while.. All this ”ignoring” time, for what use was that?
I really hate the fact that we ignore each other, but what can I do? I don’t want to be the one who always fix things between us… I don’t really have a reason to fix us anymore, you kinda do. Or, you did..
I don’t understand why you came to my place, we did it and after you said this is not going to work after all. Didn’t you understand how that made me feel like you used me? I thought everything was going to be just like it used to be, I was finally going to be happy again. I shouldn’t have let you. And then you pretend like nothings ever happened. Why? I wish I never took that call so I could have that explanation..
And I shouldn’t have been so easy on you when you lied to me even though I confronted you. I have too easy to forgive people and everyone thought I was too nice to you after that.
Well well, what is done is done and I think I am over you now.

I want you to know that I am not mad or so. Not anymore. I really loved the time we spent together and I really miss the old you. All our memories and everything that we shared. Thank you for that. We had an amazing time, didn’t we?
Merry X-mas